Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?

There is one mirror in my house in which I always seem to look my best. It is the mirror into which I peer to brush my teeth before bed, in my red nightgown, my eye makeup off, my dark hair spilling down upon my shoulders. Maybe it’s the alabaster lighting from the overhead fixture, or the swirled terracotta shower curtain and buttered toffee walls that enhance my skin tone, make my hazel eyes smoulder and shine. Maybe it’s simply that my world weary eyes are less critical than at other times of day. Maybe it is that my perception is colored not by paint or fabric but by the fulfillment of a day complete, children fed and resting, nothing left to do but climb into my blessed bed. For whatever reason, it never fails. I am always able, as if by magic, to see my own beauty in this mirror. I am grateful for it, this opportunity to see myself as I would like to be, if not always as I am.

There are people in my life who are like this mirror, reflecting my soul, my attributes. At times these mirrors have been men, but not always. Some have been the closest of female friends. Others, more fleeting companions, have provided glimpses of who I am capable of being, mere glimmers of possibility amidst the flawed reflection of right now. Certain others were soul mates, if there is such a thing.

Elizabeth Gilbert’s Richard from Texas in Eat, Pray, Love says of soul mates: “…a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you will ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake …. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave….”

I think it is important to avail one’s self in life of these people, these mirrors, in order to gain a fuller sense of our selves. These mirrors allow us moments of comfort and insight, a chance to take stock of who we are and are capable of being, a chance to see our liquid beauty in reflection, apart from ourselves, then finally, hopefully, recognize it as our own. We should take stock of these rare individuals when we are graced with them, and value their function in our lives. We should view them as precious, and treasure them. They may not stay, but they will offer valuable perspective while they are in our midst, no so much by their own vision, but by their allowance of our own.

Everyone needs a mirror, one in which they can love the reflection they see. We each deserve this luxury, necessity. The secret is, though, that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Maybe the secret is not the mirror at all, but who we are when we gaze into it.